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i am a nice girl who live with positive attitude
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January 15

God arranged for us

    I believe god arrange everything for us . Seems god still want us together . Break up with someone ,you need give at least one reason, but love someone , you don't have reason. Or you even can't find reason. you just love him or her.
January 05

God arrange everything for you

        These days i have been thinking and thinking.  i couldn't find the answer until last night. these months i only care about what i want , and i become angry for can't get this. i never thought why he doesn't want do same way . i was kind of crazy and unhappy . i thought he didn't care even a little. so i became angry more. i didn't try to  think the real reason , i couldn't make myself calm down .
        when i push the realstionship to the end , i still thought it's not my fault . it wasn't all my fault . but it was my fault at beginning . i asked something he can't give . i gave the pressure to the relationship at beginning. i never switch the position to think the same question . i only stand where i stand to think these things.
       if a girl ask guy for a serious realationship and lead married , and this guy likes her ,what he gonna say?  the girl didn't know it's not question , it's pressure. and he has to say yes and took the pressure that he doesn't really want.
       the girl was wrong  . she asked something he can't give rightnow. he doesn't know where he gonna be ,he wants stable life but he doesn't have stable heart.
       the girl always blame him , but she didn't think about maybe he also feel no security in the strange Country .
       life is just like this , you can't control too much . i think god arranged everything already . Just follow the natural .
       i feel so sorry for our realationship . but i think we did right thing . i also wish the best for him . he gonna find someone who deserve he to protect.
       And i , god arrange everything for me , i don't have to worry too much .
January 03

i try so hard but it goes so far

.    i don't know life should be changed or not in this new year. i got email from Vin, he told me he was in hospital for months . i don't know if he was in hospital for new year day. he didn't talk much ,but i feel so bad . he try and try , but seems he can't win . he told me at least you need to try . i try so hard , but something goes so far.
     
      i feel nothing i can do , nothing i can change . first time in my life , i feel helpless and hopeless. there might has a chance to go shanghai for me . i could start over . but i'm scared .  i'm afraid i will be lonely. even Alex is there , but i still feel helpless . the night of new year , he told me he wish i'm happy for every single day , every second , every minute , every weekend ,every...... i stopped him. i said it's ok. i'll try .
    
     i'm not little girl anymore . But i still cry . i guess Alex will say" let me taste your tears ! "
December 29

十月围城——活着永远比死了艰难

 
     看过《十月围城》,我先是感到小谢这次真的可以转成实力派了。演的真不错,以前小看了他了。李宇春吧,不会演戏。真是很郁闷。整部电影下来,死的人真是不少,这就是革命的代价啊。但不是所有死的人都是真心为革命而死,真正为革命的也是就梁家辉那个角色,还有就是17岁的那个小少爷。所以说我觉得电影拍的不错,人性就是这样的。为了什么?为了对自己最重要的那个人。
November 01

殊途同归

昨天是万圣节,我很开心可以又见到朋友们。我们玩的不错。今天早上突然发现下了那么大的雪,真的好冷啊。打开新闻,才知道歌手陈琳昨天自杀了。真的是好傻,她为什么不能像她歌里唱的那样《爱了就爱了》般洒脱呢?不爱就不爱吧,又何必想不开呢。我能感觉到她一定是伤透心的,可是她这么做除了伤害家人,又真的有谁会在乎呢。
人生其实再精彩也是那么多年,再不开心也是一样。每个人走的路虽然不一样,但是最后去的地方是一样的。又何必计较呢。开心是一天,不开心也是一天。虽然人生不如意十之八九,只要尽量自己宽慰一下自己就没事了。能自由地活着就可以选择,即使选错,你又怎么知道没有重来的机会。如果死了,就真的什么机会都没有了。但愿真的有另一个世界,她在那里可以开心些!
October 17

all the best wishes

A friend told me he possbily marry his gf next year. we have known each other for years . he told me that happiness is really short. and somthing has been prove . so i believe it. but this happiness ended , next one is coming. life is like this . you never say never.
Teddy learned somthing today . i said "sit" then he does it. and i said " shake hand" he doesn't like but he let me do . haha . smart dog . just sometimes so naughty and bite us . i think maybe next time we can speak english to him. then he can be the dog who can listen two languages .
hm and my piggy , i guess he is so happy now. he also can speak two languages or maybe three.


October 11

人生若只如初见

    以前我好相信,世界上有分手了还是朋友这样的事。后来我觉得这个问题不是这么简单。朋友有很多种,如果永远也不联系了,只有在大街碰到才打招呼的也能算朋友吗?有很多人爱的深,分手时也痛苦的很。然后说你是我最好的朋友。但是随着时间的流逝,就再不联系了。
    我今天接到Alex的电话,我真的不知道该说什么话。在他的世界这么长的时间里没有我,我不知道他的一切。我只能问问你怎么样,还去打水球吗?我很快就没有话题了。他就把我当美国人了,一直说英语很快,也不是很清楚。我说,我没听懂。他才问你是不是很久没说英语了。对啊,我很长时间没说了。其实他的汉语也不如以前好了。听起来他在上海的生活还可以,至少他喜欢。我的表现就很差,我真的都不知道和他说什么。真不明白,为什么我会这样子。我要是没有认识过他就好了。
    我知道我们现在还是朋友。但是慢慢的可能就不是了。
 
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