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    March 29

    新生活

    他说“分手”不如说做回“朋友”,因为分手不好听。我也同意。没想到,这么快。没有任何不愉快,连分手都是可以这么快乐!我感激曾经的快乐生活,没有任何的后悔。这个时候也是分开最好的时机。wendy说的对,垂手可得的快乐都会太长久,没有经历过痛苦就不了解真正的幸福。没有经过积极争取的爱就不够沉甸。
    这一次我没有沮丧,我不明白我为什么总会这么开心,这也是天赋吗?哈哈。我告诉文一,我觉得我好讨厌的年龄。她却说我应该感激这样的年纪,它给我带来的不仅仅是智慧还有宽广的胸怀甚至是财富!我好感激她,每次她在我难过的时候都在那支持着我。我开始思考我人生的意义,我知道他需要去经历他应该经历的,而那些我早经历过了。现在我想我不应该只为自己活,每个人都有自己的理想,为了我爱的人和我的人,我要生活的开心,要更有意义的人生!
    他说他已经开始了他的新生活,如果当时我就跟他走,可能会不一样。其实很多事就是注定了的,遗憾也有凄美的味道。我不想将来我们有机会讨厌对方,他是我现在最不想去讨厌的人,是我曾经最想念的人。
    思念的感觉和喜欢和讨厌都不同,没有另外的两种感觉干脆,这不像我的性格,思念就是隐隐作痛让人牵肠挂肚!
    所以就让过去的记忆封存吧,留下最好的部分。其实做朋友也挺好!
    March 26

    忆当归

       刚刚从上海回来,上海真是漂亮。尤其是夜晚,我和Alex还有他妈妈去了最高的金茂大厦  ,没想到俯瞰上海的夜是那么的美,宛如童话一般。我们还去了杭州有名的西湖,吃了西湖醋鱼。我还给他讲了白蛇的故事,但是他可能没听明白。之后就又和别的朋友去了周庄,那里才是古朴的江南水香会让人忘记所有的烦恼。那样的地方本来应该和某人在一起的,可惜,哈。这次是我第一次去南方,从小生活一直生活在北方的我现在不得不承认江南风光无限好啊!
      生活有时候也很美好,开心是一天,不开也是一天,主要是看心态!有些东西就像流星会转瞬即逝,美丽的那一刹只会留在心里。上次他走时,才几个星期而已,没想到他又回来了,而今天我又要送走他一次。这次没有眼泪,只有欢笑,甚至我们竟然在候车时,跳起了华尔兹。有一句话我们都明白,要先爱自己才能爱别人!我有一颗童话般的心,憧憬着童话般的生活,这样的心到底什么时候才会被世俗碾碎,其实我也想知道!
    伊人回牟惹谁醉
    醉酒当忆伊人归
    归时未即心已碎
    岁去年华为伊催
     
     
    February 21

    思念

          从没想过间过的这快。他走了,去上海。那一天终于来了,在那一天来的前两天是情人节。他同我度过了一个美好的情人节。我们在车站时候,我哭了,我可能本来就是爱哭的人吧。就这样一秒一秒的,他离我越来越远,心里一点一点的越来越空。终于明白,他提过的空的感觉。回到家,忍不住,又哭了。我真是感谢人类有可以哭的泪腺。我不知道明天会怎么样,我不知道未来怎么样。他走的第二天早上,我去游泳了。我开始重新一个人生活,虽然有点不习惯,但是我还是努力做好每一件事。我不是孩子了,我明白我应该做什么了。文一说周围每天都在变,唯一不变的是每天早上,你起床,你总是从镜子里看到自己。只有自己不会离开。不管发生什么,你总是要处理自己的那些事。
         文一说的对,不能只想借助外力来丰富自己。其实只有增加内力才是对的。有一天所有的积累和沉淀都会发生质变!
         我对文一说,“跟随”不是爱的唯一表达方法。不想迷失自己。我会变得更好!
    January 13

    期待哈尔滨

        春节快到了,这对我们中国人来说才是真正的过年。和家人在一起,吃团圆饭,吃饺子。而且公司放9天假,开心啊!想去哈尔滨。看朋友去过后照的照片,很是令人羡慕。但是9天,9天都见不到小艾同志。随便吧!反正我想去哈尔滨!
    January 07

    新年新气象!好运2009!

        我最近很开心!相信未来会更好!
        搬了新办公室 ,很温暖,很阳光,不错!我还换了新的植物,很高大,很漂亮!
        觉得他特别好,早上都给我不一样的巧克力!感觉好吃!Alex说巧克力是爱情!就是同样感觉!
       
    December 26

    躲为三十七计

       从来不喜欢面对坏问题。所以曾经让问题积攒到无法挽回。而这次我还是一样,不太勇敢。好不容易决定勇敢一次,但是当发现和我想的不一样。那种勇敢就是傻。我一直相信我是可以拿得起放得下的人。可是明明很重,却假装很轻,这样更重。我的态度决定这是不是游戏,做为玩家我希望以真诚面对一切。我后面的我会坚强。开心就好,不开心就算了。生活的哲理太简单,可是懂的人很少!
      生活总是有两面性。有双重压力,在压力下选择。我要的幸福是不能穿着盔甲来迎接的,可是脱掉盔甲很容易受伤! 明白为什么有人说自己是刺猬了,为了爱要剥了自己的皮。因为不可能带刺去拥抱爱人。总之,我不想变刺猬,代价太大!
    December 25

    Merry Christmas

               it' s not really good year . i hope 2009 will be better. but still thanks for every single happy day in my life. Merry Christmas to everyone!
    December 17

    Perfume

    电影开端就强烈刺激着我的感官。虽然闻不到,但却可以感知到所有的味道。画面质地犹如油画一样精美,又不乏令人作呕的内容。处处有着强烈的比对,垃圾和鲜活的小生命,富人和穷人,还有美丽画质和其呈现内容的不搭。

    要是这些尚可忍受,那接下来电影对人性和社会的深层挖掘讽刺才真的令人窒息。主人公从一个可怜虫到有了人生追求的人再到一个可怜虫再到一个完成自我毁灭并找到人生真正价值的人,其过程让人心痛。

    他的人生本来是毫无意义的,可是他对气味的天赋使他有了奋斗的理由。他相信他人生的意义就是找到保存完美香气的方法。女人是他的材料,他爱她们为她们痴狂。但是她们只是他的成功的必要材料。他杀了无数美丽少女,可是他的目的是单纯的,他的心灵是纯净的。他需要她们。他一方面任人凌辱,一方面凶狠残暴。他渴望被爱,可是连自己都不知道这点,演绎了真正的可悲。

    他终于在杀了最后一个女孩之后被送上刑场,这时他已经大功告成。他终于扮演了上帝的角色,所有人为他痴迷。可他发现原来他一直想要的社会是这样的。所有的人都是那么愚蠢,这些人本来是来惩罚他罪行的人,本来是有基本道义的人,现在变的丑陋不堪。世界都疯了,主人公本来就是活在疯狂的世界里。从来没有人过爱他。他这才发现原来,他要的是爱与被爱,没有什么香气可以永存。

    凶手变成了人们心中的天使,所有人都“爱”他,他平生第一次穿上贵族的服装,万众瞩目。可是他可以骗所有的人,却欺骗不了自己。当他得到了世界,却发现他不再需要世界。

    他选择回到出生的地方。他让那里的人们分食他。他刚刚才感知到爱是什么,却来不及爱了。他本就应该是和鱼内脏一起毁灭的。现在他终于回到这里,变成他应该变成的东西。

    December 11

    剪刀手爱德华

        有些事不是付出和收获一定成正比。倘若只有一次机会并要用生命换取,我相信他也会这么做。可以塑出最美的冰雕却扶不去爱人的眼泪,悲伤不可名状,最后只能用暴怒代替。

        人性到底是怎么样的?我们始终无法接受爱德华,是人性根本残忍的原因吗?我们为他感到悲伤,为他落泪,也被他感动,但就算是这样我们还是做出不接受的决定。这个不是一个人的决定,是社会的决定,也是大自然的决定。

        我们无法摆脱优胜劣汰的自然定律,这是生命的轨迹。即使伟大的人类发现了这一点,并承认其残酷,但也在遵循着它。

        我是人类的一员,我认识到我是多么的平凡。我不会爱上爱德华,也不会分担他的痛苦。我无法承担别人生活中的责任,我能做的只有面对实现。为自己负责。T          That’s only the fantasy  for him. But life is real  Back to real life .

    November 11

    古怪的出租车司机

        今早起来晚了些,就想反正自行车也不在家,干脆就打车去吧。下楼以后自己还正琢磨着,这车可能不好打。正巧这时候就来了一辆红色的,一看就是旧车。但是这会儿我哪有心情去挑啊,就径直上了车。司机是个老头,多大年纪?54. 我怎么知道?他自己说了两遍呢。这人很奇怪,他见我上车,并不是十分高兴,好像我耽误了他什么事。原来他刚想停下车来买张报纸,见我上了车,不好他再下去,所以还是开着车,只是嘴里不免嘟哝着说还想买张报纸呢。我就好奇什么大不了的报纸啊,就随口问了一句。他说他要看股市。我也没想就脱口而出:还看它干嘛,呵呵。这下他有点不乐意了,说您这话我就不爱听,于是我忙说我不是这意思。他还不依不饶地说了几遍才罢休。后来他在车上就语无伦次了起来。一会说,自己54了,一会说你做我这车,能中大奖。我就问有人中过奖?他说有,后来又说也不是真中奖。就是平安啊,工作顺利啊什么的。还说问我信不信他和有些客人成为朋友了,经常一起喝酒,而且随叫随到。我说信,什么人没有啊。这司机师傅又开始吹起牛来,说是有个朋友炒股,头发都白了,房子也卖了,要是没两下子,怎么敢这样。言外之意,他那个朋友是个炒股的高手。可惜他自己没多炒,要不就发大财了。我越听越觉得他的话离谱 ,也不爱答理了。不过也不知道,他走的是哪条路,平时早该到了的,这会儿计价器都蹦累了,车还没到呢。这司机又莫名其妙地说,你怎么不去中关村啊。我说我去哪干嘛啊,心想又不在中关村上班。这中关村离我这大望路也忒远了点吧。人家说的明白,他说要是去中关村,就得60,还用手比划出个六来,高兴得他。他又接着说,要不去机场也行。我简直无语了我。

        快到的时候,我高兴了起来。想这下可算要到了,不听他的疯言疯语了。他突然又问我一句话,他问你说这车就要报废了,他们还能用我吗?我一下子愣住了,这个我怎么回答啊。他又说,我都54 ,现在三十,四十岁的多的是。人家可能就不用我了,要是不用我了,我就没法干了。我问他,您想干吗?他这回答的干脆:想。我就接着说,那还能用你。你是老司机了,有经验,这年轻的连路都认不清呢。有时候还找不着地方呢。我本想听他接说吹嘘一番,什么“就是啊,我都多少年经验了”之类的。可是他叹了一口气说,人家也都能找着地方。

    这会到了我的目的地了,十八块!平常其实最多就十四。我给他在钱包里找零钱,十五、十六、十七,眼看就差一块钱。他忙说不用找了,差点没事,我不是那计较的人。我说我有,还有一块钱在兜里,就掏出来都给他了。我说要张票,他说你报销啊,我给你找张大的。他就开始翻他车票,找来找去没个大额的。就挑了一个给我说,你看看,你看看!我还以为多大额度呢,一看四十三块。笑笑我下车了。

    November 08

    我等着你回来,我等着你回来---《云水谣》

        可能是我期望的太高,或者近来华语片的质量只能拿《云水谣》来个矮子里拔大个儿吧。总之觉得这个片子做为故事片还是不错的,但是做为获奖的故事片就正好揭示了华语片整体实力弱这个不争的事实。影片的最大成功在我看来是李冰冰的出演,而最大失败是徐若萱的拙劣演技。陈坤的表演也是一般般,扭曲夸张的表情并不能让观众感觉到人物内心的复杂和心理的变化。导演安排梁洛施是来搅局的吧?故事因为她的出现被切的一块一块儿的,我想要是导演想用她个大对比就不必了吧?到底有几个美国小孩会去关心上一带的感情恩怨呢?而且她还写书,用中文写《云水谣》,这不仅老套而且还极不合理。好吧,就当她是一特例,中文发音还不标准呢,但人家就是文学底子好。可是这个她出现的情节就是只能老套和不必要来形容,这对电影不怎么样吧。老年王碧云的出现让我联想起了泰坦尼克,这好相似啊。影片诸多地方都有拼凑和抄袭的痕迹。就拿陈秋水给王碧云洗头来说吧,整个儿一周润发的“百年润发”。还有他跑着去见王碧云那段,就是当年的《像雾像雨像风》啊。"假"王碧云晒被单那个情节多少年前在美国电影里就有了。要是说我刻薄,就先不提影片的小毛病。
        首先冰冰的演出是值得肯定的,而且她也受了肯定。最有印象是她的《天下无贼》,这一次她一点也没有那时的影子。在这里,她扮演的是一个大大咧咧又敢爱敢恨的小丫头。看得出她是下了功夫的,就连走路的姿势就是不可复制的,她就是王金娣,虽然一点也不像上海人。这是导演错误,让她和陈坤一个冒充上海人,一个冒充台湾人。本来我是打算哭一下的,我也想被感动哭一哭,可是最后一张面巾纸也没用上。可惜了,本来这个故事具备了让我大哭的条件,但是没弄好,我一也哭不出来。台湾永远不老的徐若萱来演这个中国传统的理想主义贤媳妇,直是怎么看都不像。不过演员嘛,外型不像可以靠演技,但是我就一点也没看出来她有演技。发音古怪就先不说了,到底人家才是台湾人,谁让导演找小陈也去冒充人家的老乡,反道衬得徐小姐发音奇怪。可是她演的实在不怎么样,她的苦等本应让世人怜悯。可是她对其它人的态度和对世界观变化之愚顿让人觉得没意思。而且她演不出人物的内心,要知道眼泪已经不能诠释一切的时候,我们需要的是眼神传达。高兴的等待比哭着等让人更敬佩。
       导演很搞笑,让人冒充外地人就不说了。还让小徐当着小陈妈的面裹着被子还露着肩。在当时,这可能吗?就不说封建了,说常理也是不通的。所以让小徐卖弄性感讨好观众这个也太没水准了吧。要知道当今,这样的镜头网上不搜都自己往外蹦。而电影是艺术,要顾全大局的,这种那种不必要,应该省省了。
      电影描写的是两个性格完全不同的女性。一个敢爱敢恨,一个墨守成规。但前者和后者对爱情都一样地执着。等是被动的坚持,追是主动的坚持。看得出金娣是影片里唯一得到幸福的,她是现实主义者。从改名可能看得出,她要的是实在的爱。而碧云是绝对的理想主义着,她要的是绝对的忠诚和浪漫,不惜用一生等待。与其说她守的是陈秋水,还不如说她守的是她的信仰,对爱的信仰。而陈秋水是识实务的,他顺着金娣安排好的梯子走下来了。那么多年,他爱的到底是谁,他可能自己也说不清了。但是王碧云这个名字却是不好抹去的。他爱的是王碧云这个名字还是王碧云这个人,还是王碧云这个名字下包着的王金娣呢?
      王碧云的选择让人同情,因为她多年的日子是靠一个等字来支撑的,只要没见到陈秋水的尸体,就是有希望的。这反而见证了一个最简单的真理,希望是活着的最大动力!还记得那首充满上海情调的老歌吗?“我等着你回来,我等着你回来……”
    September 26

    i also fear something you fear

    What am I doing? I got serious headache today. Why ? I just hope I won’t die for this. I don’t fear dead. Just so many things I didn’t do yet. Do we fear dead? Oh , maybe I do . just don’t like to say it out. If I say I don’t fear dead , that can make me sounds special? But today I guess if you say you fear dead . that really can make you sounds special. You know today ,many people lie . many liars . so if you want to  be special only you tell truth. But I don’t like that. Because you are not the one of us. I’m dizzy now .  because I got headache.
    September 17

    i'm strange evil girl.

    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same...'

    People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to.”

     

    Someone told me .he thinks that’s just our situation. Maybe. But I still can’t change our current situation. I think that's kind of romantic but also doesn't make sense.i do care about freind . so just be my freind .

     

     

     A good friend’s ex boyfriend told her that she will be his the most important one, and he will do anything for her after they broke up. She really got touched. They did love each other deeply after all. That’s kind of romantic, isn’t it?But they didn’t contact each other for long time since broke up. Actually I believe that guy. When he told this to my friend . I believe he really meant it .But time ran fast , and we are just common human being.

    Another friend of mine. She also have a ex boyfriend. But the guy’s family didn’t allow them. So they broke up since many years. But the guy send her email every year on her birthday after they broke up even now. later she got new boyfriend for years. She lost the feeling about her ex already. She is very happy now, because she lives with her real life. Her romantic story is the most romantic one I never ever heard. But it’s over now. when she told me her story , I even cried for it. Her ex was perfect guy. Just he has his own religion. His family told him that he can give up his family but he can’t give up his god. In the end he gave up my friend and their truly love for his religion. My friend didn’t blame him since she saw he cried. She never saw he cried. For her he is such perfect guy. But he became such weakness this time.

    That’s also romantic , isn’t it?

     For me I think romantic is just romantic. we like it because it’s short extreme happy. Some people really good at it. So they make it happen for many times. Then those people also can get loves easy. Because they have this skill. But Andy Liu said he thinks the most romantic thing is be with your beloved for your rest life. So actually you can’t know if you really get most romantic until you dead. Hmm, I agree with him. He is my idol after all. Otherwise I also hate get hurt by footprints.

    September 10

    你是我的谁

    where r you from
    i talked to you from mirror
    you are very upset
    you told me i shouldn't be here
    you ask me to be with you
    you are alone
    you want have me
    i know you for long time
    i don't need you , but you always be there
    i think you want have me
    let me go
    who are you?
    let me go
    i don't want you
    let me go
    let me go
    but you won't let me go
    you will be with me forever
    you will take me to somewhere i don't like
    you want me be with you forever in somewhere i don't like
    i don't want , but i have no choice  .and i willl be with you forever.
     
    September 02

    it's ok. not big deal.

    still didn't get visa yet . it's ok not big deal. it is life ,and something bad just happen like this. i can't control it , it isn't my problem. hehe
    but when something bad happened , still something good there. my best friend has baby now. 21:28:58 30-8-2008. 顺产男婴六斤,母子平安。so it's realy not big deal compare my friend's baby come . i'm so happy for her . we has known each  for 20years . my god . my best firend has baby now. and the baby is boy . haha. very good .great . she is hero. i love her .
    August 25

    see you olympic in UK!

    其实一直想在这写点什么。毕竟是奧运啊,在北京啊。可是从开始到现在,一直都没词儿。想说的网上都有,想写的网上的记者都写了。想感动的,都感动过劲儿了。实在太多, 太多。以前开奧运,就只是关心一下我国运动健儿的成绩,看一眼最后有多少金牌。最后加上一句,怎么又第三啊什么的。然而这次中国是第一了,51枚金牌了。我却没有任何心理上的膨胀。因为在最后这似乎微不足道了。得到金牌的运动员感动着我,没有得到任何奖牌的运动员一样感动着我。甚至是女子100小组赛跑在最后的运动员。不知道是来自哪个国家,甚至连上起跑器的动作都是那么业余。头上带着黑色头巾,长衣长裤,看起来一点也不像是专业的选手。可是后来我知道,为了来这里,她们面对的不仅仅是艰苦的训练,甚至是难以想象的死亡威胁。战争让热爱体育的运动员失去了完好的训练设施,甚至没有钱买一双跑鞋。可是他们依然来到北京,站在这里,和脚穿特制名牌跑鞋的其它运动员站在同一个起跑线上。因为在这里,我们都是一样的,不分种族,不分国界,不分贫富。这就是奧林匹克精神。感谢北京让我近距离看到了奧运,感受到的震撼将永远难忘。

    本来想说goodbye Olympic, 但是Olympic 还远没有完结。那承载着奧林匹克精神的伟大盛会是不会完结的。所以让我用心去期待,4年后see you in UK.

    August 23

    free like me

    i had the feeling.
    live alone
    next lifetime
    when i come round you
    until the time goes by
    i will always be
     
     
    August 19

    Wee-Wee the Poop

    This is repersents the most fascinating of all fairy tales - the adventures of Wee-Wee, a tiny piece of poop.
    In a sausage factory lives a smelly drck liver sausage called Wee-wee. All other sausages avoid him because of his odor and call him "the smelly duckling." Wee-wee by telling him that if he basks in the sun and dries himself in the wind,his unpleasant smell will eventually turn into a rich aroma . Sadly , no matter how hard he trieds,Wee-wee remains a smelly duckling and feels davastated.
    One day , as Wee-wee passes a toilet, he discovers the truth . He is no sausage! He is merely poop,put into the sausage factory as a practical joke!Feeling bittersweet happiness, Wee-wee jumps into the toilet to return to where he truly belongs.
    Life in the sewer, howere, does not bring the happiness Wee-wee expected. The sewer is full of bored and dejected turds.Wee-wee finds himself thinking about the sun and the wind and the sweet melodies of Li LI, his beautiful sausage friend......
    In the sweet Wee-Wee also befriends a free-spirited poop called Lu Lu.She has longed to leave the sewer since she was young.After she has heard Wee-wee's story ,she comes up with the idea of asking Wee-wee to take her to the world under the sun. She wants to start anew and turn herself into a real sausage!
    Wee-wee and Lu Lu manage to get back to the ground above by breaking a sewae pipe. They are flllowed by Do Do the Dung, a strong turd and secret admirer of Lu Lu. Together, they look for spices at Thai restaurants and colouring at ice-cream factories. They frequent gymnasiums to build strong muscles like those of a hot dog. Finally, they sneak into a food factory and steal some sausage skins .Eventually , they look almost exactly like three real sausages.
    The next day , Wee-wee is ready to be vacuum-packaged and put on board a cargo vessel heading for America. Before he leaves , though , Li Li comes to his mind. How he wants Li Li to go with him!Yet,when he finds Li Li, to his surprise,she has already been digested and turned into a poop herself! Wee-wee trieds his best to help Li Li to change back into a sausage the night before he leaves,but it is too late.wee-wee,Lu Lu and Do Do are brought to the cargo ship,while Li Li is removed form packs of sausages and discarded into the sea.Wee-wee's tears freeze into a thin layer of frost on the vaccuum pack...
    Wee-wee decides that he does not want to be a sausage after all. He wants to be himself. He floats in the water. hoping to see his lost friend Li Li once again.Finally , Wee-wee and Li Li reunite in a pond of muddy water.They disintegrate and become nutrients. Under the sun, Wee-wee and Li Li turn into a blooming lotus,and they live happily ever after...
    What is the moral behind this eccentric fairy tale? "Be yourself !" Explore nd develop your potential to the fullest. But no matter what, "Be yourself!"
    August 13

    China will win . i love China

      we went go bar on Augest 8th . many people together we were very excited. it was olympic openning . it was beautiful night.
     
      in life something is strange.  for real or for unreal . i care about , but don't want care about too much . that already too much for me. i became cold type person since many things happened to me . i didn't know how to protect myself before. and now i became over protect . i need it . i won't change it i guess. that was too hard for me . i just don't want take any mistake or risk. i'm brave ,but doesn't mean i could take it.
      if you love me for real . i wish you could meet me early . because i was warm.
    August 04

    i got passport today

       i got my passport today. i'm very happy . i'll go to Korea soon. it will be the first time go to other country. hahaha.